So This Is It Huh?

Don't you hate it when your always right? Deep in your mind you have an idea of what you think will happen, you don't tell anyone about it or say anything but deep down you know its going to happen. I get it all the time. Somehow I just know when something bad is going to happen. I knew before my step dad even called that he was in a car crash. I knew before class even started I was going to have to sit with my enemy and now I even knew before my boyfriend even picked me up that he was going to break up with me.

He had been distant for a while but I didn't think that he would break up with me. Especially how it happened. He told me that he just wanted to be friends because he just really didn't want to date right now. I mean come on we had been dating for 14 months and all of a sudden he just doesn't want to date? He told me that it had nothing to do with me and he still loved me and I would always be his best friend. But he just needed to be alone and not have to worry about anything for a while. He told me I needed to see other people if we where ever to get serious because he had only been my second boyfriend. It hurts so much when he just says see you around at the end of a phone call instead of I love you and I will talk to you tomorrow.

But I guess this is a new era in my life. We will see what happens. I think that and I cringe. I try to be a big girl I even went out last night but... His parents where at the movie I went to. That was so killer. I had to run and duck into the car. So they wouldn't see me. I just can't handle this stuff I think I am OK and then it is night time and I have to go to sleep and there is no way that I am falling asleep and then when four in the morning rolls around I just get up and watch t.v. It's only been a couple of days so maybe it will get better? I hope so because right now I have know idea what I am going to do.

I tried to think positively and think that now I am free and I can date other people and not have to worry about anything but I don't think that I can I just feel bad because what if he comes around when I am with someone else ? I just wish he would come back. But at the same time do I really? Maybe I should take his advice. Maybe I should see whats out there before I just decide to marry him and never know.


Mood: Thoughtful
Song: Golden-Fall Out Boy